Threads Review Part 1

                                       Threads

Everyone who has seen this film remembers it. Set in the town of Sheffield during the Cold war this film gave people nightmares. Not the good kind like vampire women who want to suck more than your blood or some dangerous adventure based on the rules of snooker. No. When people say this film is scary they really mean it.



The film opens out with a serious man's voice talking about his pet spider as it spins a web over Sheffield. I personally don't know why the filmmakers included the tired old trope of giant irradiated spiders but they did. I found it confusing as we never see this monster spider again in the film.



However, the voice then continues to tell us about Sheffield and makes out we are all connected because someone does something we need and we do something they need. I have No idea how this relates to spiders but I have to admit I am already frightened.



In the first scene with real people we are introduced to Ruth and Jimmy. We don't know that's their names first of all but they then call each other their respective names and then we do. Jimmy is listening to the radio on the radio and Ruth is looking at Sheffield and keeping her eyesight intact.


She is saying how beautiful Sheffield is but Jimmy isn't so sure and is more interested in the noises coming from his radio. They either have had sex at this point or do after the scene cuts. We don't find out.


We do see a Buccaneer jet go *VWOOOSSSHHH* which was pretty good.


Next, we find out that Jimmy lives a Hollywood lifestyle with his family by having dinner and chatting about an abortion. Jimmy's little brother asks what an abortion is. I yelled at the screen but he couldn't hear me.


Jimmy's brother plays an LCD handheld game that looked like it was based on a neurological experiment. Oh and on the telly is the opening titles to Tomorrow's World. The really spooky one with the brain zaps.


Oh, side note. There are news reports of a growing nuclear crisis. At one point Jimmy takes notice in the pub, the landlord of the pub turns it over to Snooker (I think) but the patrons would much rather hear about their impending doom than see Alex Higgins V Ray Reardon in the third round of the Bensons and Hedges cup at the crucible.


Ruth comes from a posh family who disapproves of their daughter mixing with scum like Jimmy. But Jimmy works at a timber yard and is probably more worried about getting a splinter.


The social signifiers of WW3 can be seen from this point on. Protesters and potential agitators are arrested, Count Duckula gets shelved, food prices rise, Razzle sales drop, mass protests erupt all over Sheffield, and Sheffield Wednesday thinks about renaming themselves Sheffield Saturday.


All of this builds to a violent nuclear attack sequence that completely destroys Sheffield. Jimmy has the great idea of hiding under his work truck and is never seen again. My guess is he probably fell asleep.


Oh, here is some actual dialogue from the scene where Jimmy and his mate are standing on the back of their timber truck arguing with customers.:


Customer: Why is wood so expensive!?
 

Jimmy: I don't know!
 

Customer 2: I suspect you know more than you're letting on.
 

Jimmy's friend: That's a lie and you're rude.

Customer: Can you blame him? Wood is very expensive and we don't know why.

Jimmy: You've upset me. I'm going to lay under my truck until you have either gone or say sorry.


*Jimmy's friend folds his arms and looks accusingly at Customer and Customer2*.

A woman pisses herself because she finds the attack hilarious, E.T. gets a bit hot, and milk bottles go all sad and melt. Also, most people die. Ruth is in a stage of pregnancy called "Clearly pregnant now" and hides in a cellar with her mum and dad and grandmother. They have some beans and bury grandma.


From here on in we a treated to the wonders of a destroyed post-nuclear Sheffield. People riot, and a Traffic Warden gets a promotion and is allowed to kill people while wearing his pants on his face. I noticed that many members of a post-nuclear Sheffield were caged in on a Sheffield Tennis court.


It made me wonder how much the membership fees were and just how undersubscribed such a social facility was considering the dearth of tennis talent the U.K. had in the mid080s.

I think there's a message in that.

However, that's not the worst of it...End of Part 1.